Captivity
by mynameisnotjohnny
Summary: After spending years in captivity, you lose part of who you were. Soldier Quinn Fabray gets rescued after being kept by terrorists and she needs to figure herself out again, specially if she wants to get the love of her life to be hers again.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: The Rescue**

 **Hello, everyone.**

 **This is a new story I've been working on for a while now. I had the idea of it while I was watching Homeland. I hope you all like it.**

 **Don't forget to review and tell me what you think of it.**

 **I don't own Glee.**

* * *

She was suffocating. The amount of dust that settled inside the small windowless room she was in made it almost impossible for her to breath. She felt scared. The loud banging on the heavy door, the sounds of guns going off behind it made Quinn shiver in fear.

Maybe it was a new way to torture her, she thought. Maybe it was a new way to make her feel like she would never be safe.

When the door burst open, the blonde gasped out and, just like the coward she had become, scooted back till she hit the hard wall behind her. The sunlight started blinding her since she was left in a dark room for almost a month now, with no communication whatsoever.

Thirteen army men came rushing in, looking around the room till they spotted the scared creature on the corner of those awful chambers. The shouting came to a stop and she put her hands over her face, speaking in a raw voice. "Please."

Quinn expected to be hit. She knew how her captures hated when she spoke in English instead of Arabic, but in that moment of complete and utter fear, all she could do was plead in her native language. The blonde wasn't sure what she was pleading for. Maybe it was for her life. Or maybe for her death. After all, it had been almost eight years in captivity. Eight whole years without seeing her family, without seeing the love of her life.

Some might say that she would have forgotten about her after all this time. But, in reality, it was all Quinn thought about. Rachel was the one giving her comfort after all these years, even being hundreds of miles away.

The blonde kept pleading silently, her voice weak and unused. It was getting harder and harder to breath in her panicked state and by the time one of the men approached her, she was passing out. The last thing she saw was the US flag stamped on the man's uniform.

Her whole body was aching by the time she regained conscious. Her head was pounding hard and her mouth was dry. The beeping sound coming from somewhere near her did nothing to make her feel better – if anything, it just made it harder for her to think.

* * *

Her eyes shot open at first before the bright lights blinded her. Blinking a bit, Quinn tried again, much slower this time so she could adjust. At first, she felt scared, not knowing where she was and what these new chambers meant for her. But little by little she started recognizing everything around her.

The soft mattress she was laying on felt foreign but very much welcomed. The pillows under her head and the lack of dust helped her breath more properly, something that hadn't happened in eight years. She had no idea where she was, which scared her, but for a moment, she let herself enjoy the little comfort she had.

After a little while, she tried sitting up. She fought through the shooting pain on her ribs – something was definitely broken, she thought – and looked around. She was in some kind of makeshift hospital room. The small windows were closed and the gray door was partially opened. Because of that, she could see some movement outside. She could hear some low whispers and a bit of laughter too.

Even thought she looked like she was somewhere safe, she couldn't help but panic. Quinn hadn't felt safe in eight years. Not since she was captured in fucking Iraq by some damned terrorists. There had been too much torture for her to feel like she wasn't in any harm.

Her heart started speeding up a bit and the beeping sound got quicker, alerting a few people that she was awake. The blonde was ready to scream when a man appeared by the door. She knew him. She fucking knew him.

"Quinn." Noah said in a low voice, smiling softly to her. "You're awake."

The blonde sat there, silently looking at him. She hadn't seen her best friend in so long that she, for a moment there, thought she might be hallucinating. But everything felt and appeared to be so real that she allowed herself a bit of hope.

"Hey, calm down. Don't stress yourself out. Your body needs to rest, okay?" He spoke as he walked in, making her heartbeat get even faster. "Quinn, please… It's me. It's Puck. Puckerman. Remember?"

Noah was smart enough to stop approaching the blonde when she got a bit more agitated. But after a few more minutes, she relaxed a tiny bit.

"W…" Quinn tried to speak but her voice was hard to come out. She cleared her throat, ignoring the pain. "Water."

The man was quick to deliver her request, getting the woman a glass of cold water – one that she downed in one large gulp.

"Feeling any better?" The soft smile wouldn't leave his face, Quinn noticed. It felt unreal. Everything felt unreal. "Alright. You are even quieter now. Not that I can blame you. But you're safe, Quinn… You're going home."

Those final words rang on her ears. Home. She was going home. She didn't even know where that was anymore. She didn't even know who she was anymore. But either way, it felt good to connect her life with the thought of safety. Home.

"Quinn? Are you actually going to say anything? It's okay if you aren't. I'm not gonna push you or anything. I… Well, I don't understand what you've been through. I could never. Not after seeing y… I… Alright, I really shouldn't be talking about that. Well, you should try to get some more sleep. I'm sure the painkillers are making you tired. I'll be back to check on you later, yeah?"

There were so many things she wanted to ask. That she wanted to say. But all she could do was nod and lay back down. Noah was right. She was tired. She hadn't even felt it till she closed her eyes again, going into a heavy sleep.

* * *

The next time Quinn woke up she was being carried inside an airplane. Puck was right next to her, once again. That helped the blonde not freak out about having strangers moving her bed.

"Puck." Quinn rasped out quietly and the man looked down at her, sending her his usual childish grin. She had missed that smile. She had missed him. "Where are we?"

"We are going home, okay? I'm glad you're awake. That way you can eat something. Cut that hair of yours the way you like it. Watch some TV. Whatever you want, really. We are all here to make your wishes come true."

Quinn was settled in a chair and everyone seemed to be extra nice to her till they realized she wanted to be left alone. All aside from Puck. He sat but her side and spoke freely even if she wouldn't utter a word. It was like that for almost two hours before she spoke.

"How long?" She asked quietly, staring at her scarred hands.

"What?" Puck seemed to realize the meaning of her question after he looked at her tense shoulders. "Almost eight years."

"How did you find me?"

"By accident, actually. We thought you were dead already. Specially after finding Sam's body near your old base." Quinn would have cried with the news about her friend if she was able to feel anything in that moment. "I'm glad we were wrong, though… I'm so happy to see you. You have no idea."

"Does… Ra… Who knows?"

"Just your mom. We have no… we decided… well, I decided it was best to keep this under the radar till you got your feet together. I didn't think you'd appreciate coming home to a bunch of reporters." He let out a small laugh but sighed when she didn't laugh along. "I didn't have time to tell anyone else. I was… I hurried to get you. Only your mom knows. I didn't tell Rachel. You can call her from here if you want."

"No." Quinn said simply and looked down the window, watching the clouds go by.

Puck was about to ask why but thought better out of it, closing his mouth and turning back to his phone. Quinn didn't ask anything else through the whole flight back.

* * *

It felt weird to be embraced. She hadn't felt a comforting touch in eight years. And even though she was extremely tense as her mother hugged her, she let the woman have her moment. Quinn could imagine how hard it must have been to Judy thinking her daughter was dead for eight years.

She felt her mother cry against her shoulder and all she could do was stand there. She had no idea what she felt right in that moment. Judy pulled back after almost ten minutes and send her a teary smile, cupping her face.

"I missed you." She confessed in a quiet voice and the older blonde just smiled sadly, nodding.

"Me too, Quinnie. Me too." She choked out and hugged her again. This time, Quinn wrapped her arms loosely around her mom's waist, burying her face on her shoulder and trying, forcing herself to cry. At least then she would feel something. The tears never came though.

Actually, any sort of feeling just came when she sat in the car, staring at her mom's house. She choked up a bit and was about to cry when Judy touched her hand, making her flinch and pull back in fear.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." She said in a sad voice. "I… Let's… Let's go in, yeah? I cooked your favorite."

Quinn nodded and slowly got out of the car, following her mom inside the house. She was grateful Judy kept everything the way it was before. It was good to feel like she recognized something.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. But Quinn could see her mother was extremely happy to have her there, even if she was just a shell of what she was before. They settled in the living room after they washed the dishes together. They were sitting in opposite couches.

"Do you wanna ta-"

"Does she still live there?" Quinn asked before her mother tried to get her to talk about it. She couldn't talk about it.

"I… Yes, actually. She… She never moved."

"Can I take the car?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. You haven't used one in so l-"

"Please. I… I don't… I just wanna see for myself. See that she's okay."

"Quinnie… I don't-"

"Please… If… At least… At least drive me there." Judy couldn't say no to her daughter's pleading tone. It was one of the first emotions she showed since she had arrived that afternoon. And she could imagine how Quinn was desperate to see her. In reality, she was surprised she hadn't asked any sooner. She was surprised Rachel wasn't there to pick her up as well.

"Okay. I'll drive you. Put on your coat, okay? I don't want you getting sick."

Quinn smiled at that, the concept so incredibly delusional to her. After eight years of torture, her mother was afraid she'd get a cold. That made the blonde appreciate her mother even more.

* * *

Her mother was parked in front of the small house. Quinn was standing by the front door motionlessly. The light coming from the living showed her there was someone home. Actually, there was laughter and voices coming from inside. That made her realize Rachel probably had a few friends over. It was probably Kurt, she thought. And Blaine. If they were still together. She didn't know. How could she?

Despite everything, she was weirdly excited. Even though her body showed no signs of that, except for the gentle way her fingers were twitching nervously. It took her a while but she finally found the courage to ring the doorbell.

The blonde looked down at herself, in that moment self-conscious about not looking presentable enough to see Rachel. Her jeans were loose from the amount of weight she had lost, and her shirt didn't do any justice to the few curves that had remained. At least her coat was a bit more fitting, she thought.

"That must be the pizza!" Quinn heard Rachel loud and happy voice from inside and she smiled, her fingers twitching even more.

"I'll get it." She heard another voice say, much closer to the door.

She looked up again, her shaggy short hair falling on her eyes as Santana opened the door. The Latina let go of the wine glass she was holding. Quinn watched as the drink stained the carpet red, frowning a bit. She looked back up, silently and now feeling a bad kind of nervousness.

"Quinn." Santana said in surprise. It was clear that Puck had been saying the truth. He hadn't told anyone about her. "W- Ho… I…" She trailed off before she threw herself in her friend's arms.

The blonde winced and flinched but apparently the Latina didn't notice – or care – because she didn't pull away till Quinn let out a soft "Please."

Santana pulled back with wide eyes and started apologizing, looking back inside when someone told her to hurry up. "I…" Her eyes went even wider, Quinn noticed, making her get slightly more confused. Sure, she was not used to interaction between friends anymore, but that seemed weird even to her. "Uh… I'm… Quinn. You…"

Quinn kept quiet, her fingers twitching more and more. Was she hallucinating? Was Rachel not there? Was she not safe?

In a moment of panic, she pushed past the Latina in hopes of saving Rachel from whoever was hurting her. She rushed towards the voices and burst through the living room door. Everyone looked up a bit startled at that before their eyes went wide as she stopped breathing.

There she was. Safe. Unharmed. Rachel. Quinn's heart started beating even faster as she noticed every freckle where it should be. She remembered her perfectly. She looked more mature, though. Even more beautiful then before, if that was even possible.

Everyone around them started speaking loudly, surprised, excited, happy. But all Quinn could see now was the arm wrapped around Rachel's shoulder. An arm connected to a man. A man she knew well. A man she had saved before she was captured. It was only for a second, though, because Rachel quickly stood and moved towards her slowly, carefully – almost as if she was afraid she would disappear.

"Quinn." Rachel whispered and, oh, the blonde felt her heart speed up. It had been so long since she heard her say her name. "Quinn. Oh my god." She said and started crying hard, going to hug her tightly. Quinn didn't hug her back, though. And not because she didn't know how, like it was with her mom, but because she kept looking at an wide eyed Finn Hudson.

Rachel must have noticed that Quinn wasn't making any effort to touch, which made her pull back and look at her face before she looked at where the blonde was staring at. "Quinn… Quinn, no. I… It's not… Quinn, you're… Quinn…"

The blonde finally looked at Rachel and nodded with dead eyes, pulling slightly away from Rachel. "Sorry for the interruption. Please, carry on." She said in a voice that no one would ever picture her using at Rachel. It was completely detached of emotion.

The blonde moved away even with the many protests she got. She felt someone take her arm and quickly reacted in reflex, breaking Brittany's arm in one swift motion – you could learn a thing or two with the terrorists, specially when it came to causing someone pain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, everyone.**

 **Thank you all for the amazing reviews. You guys are awesome.**

 **Here's a new chapter of this story. I'm still trying to situate the story to get the real plot going so let me know if you like it or think it's shit.**

 **Leave as many reviews as you'd like. The more the merrier.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Can I just disconnect the phone? Because, really, if you're just going to ignore all your friends, I might as well save my ears from bleeding." Judy complained to her daughter. It had been five days since she had taken Quinn to Rachel's house, five days since Quinn had come home after eight whole years without hearing or knowing a thing about her daughter.

Judy believed she knew her daughter well. That was before the captivity kept them apart for so long. Now, it was as if she was living with a stranger. A stranger with the face that once belonged to her precious little girl.

"Do whatever you want, mom." Came Quinn's reply as she looked down at her new iPhone. Judy had gotten her one two days after she arrived, refusing to not be able to contact her whenever. She could understand her mother's worry and need to talk to her when she wasn't around – not that she had left the house since the first night. Quinn had become too afraid to go out after that. But she truly did understand her mom; she just wished she had gotten an easier thing to use. "I always hated these touch screens. It was awful back then and it's still awful. Couldn't you have just gotten me a flip phone or something?"

Quinn just heard her mother laugh a bit before she sighed, placing the phone on the counter before going back to cooking lunch in silence. It was something she was very used to, being quiet. After eight years of little communication, Quinn had learned only to speak when it was necessary – her captors liked to make her scream more anyways.

Another thing she had learned on her time away from home was to always be aware of her surroundings, and to jump whenever touched. That's why when she felt her mother's hand on her shoulder, she jumped away, pointing the knife on her hand at her for a second before her eyes cleared a bit and she realized where she was. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Judy replied to her in a slightly shaky voice. After hearing about what had happened to Brittany the other night, and after a little incident with herself, Judy had started to get scared at Quinn's defense nature. She understood, of course, but it still got her a bit frightened. "I… I was just going to ask if you wanted some help."

"No. I'm good. You… You can relax for now." Quinn felt guilty when these moments happened. She felt guilty for pointing a knife at her mother, for elbowing her nose the other day, and most of all, for breaking her old friend's arm. She had yet to call or talk to any of them – not for a lack of trying from the group's side – but she just needed time. Specially after realizing she was not a part of that group, of their lives – of Rachel's life – anymore.

It hadn't crossed Quinn's mind that Rachel would move on. It might have been wrong to think that the brunette would just wait for her – even if there was no real evidence that she was alive – but she did. She realized now that she should have prepared herself for that outcome. Of course Rachel had moved on, of course she had found someone else to love. It hurt that she did. And it hurt even more that she had found love in Finn fucking Hudson. Finn fucking Hudson that had left her there as she was taken by the terrorists. Finn fucking Hudson that just watched and ran like a little coward when she herself had risked her life for him. And now there he was, living the life she should be living.

Thinking about that made her angry. She stabbed the chicken she was cutting a bit too hard and ended up cutting herself. The pain was nothing compared to what she once had to endure. But it still bothered her. As she wrapped her injured hand on a towel, her mother came back. They were on their way to the hospital ten minutes later.

* * *

Quinn got five stitches. Apparently, she had almost cut through her palm with it. She felt that the doctor was exaggerating a bit. There wasn't even that much blood. But she said nothing as the woman stitched her up and put a bandage over her whole hand, just thinking how hard it would be to do the little things she was trying to do again – like cook, clean, read, write.

Since her mother had gone out to sort out the paper work, Quinn decided to show herself out when her hand was all wrapped up, ignoring the nurse flirting with her. There was no way she was ready for that. Specially since there was still Rachel on her mind. She wondered if she would ever be hers again, if she would ever feel her the way she used to before everything, if she would ever hear her say her name with that much love, passion and longing.

The blonde didn't get much time thinking about it because as she walked to the front desk where her mother was, two hands stopped her. Quinn turned around quickly to fight her captor, pushing the body back and almost jumping the person till she saw it was Santana. It took a few seconds for her eyes to clear again and for her to calm down before she pulled away, making sure there was enough space between them.

"What? I don't get a broken arm too? Is that something just special for Brittany?" Came the snarky question from the Latina.

Quinn sighed at her friend and wrapped the jacket tighter around herself. "I apologized for that, Santana. She said it was okay."

"Yeah, because she was too scared to tell you to fuck off."

Quinn sighed again and looked down. She wanted to say more, to defend herself from Santana but the words just wouldn't come out. Of course she was in the wrong. She had been in the wrong for the past eight years – that's what she was used to now.

"You got nothing to say for yourself? Awesome. Then let me get a bit more real wit-"

"Santana, stop." Judy said from behind Quinn. She had just finished signing everything when she heard a bit of a commotion behind her. The older woman was glad she had seen it because she could see how her daughter was starting to get affected by the words. Another thing she had learned from those five days was to not let Quinn get uncomfortable. Otherwise she would get on a full panic attack.

"Mrs. F, sorry but this does not concern-"

"I'll not say it again, Santana. Stop. That's enough. We don't need this kind of thing right now." Judy tried again with a harsher tone.

Santana was about to reply when she heard Quinn's loud breathing. The Latina looked at her friend and frowned. The blonde was mumbling a few things to herself too quietly for anyone to understand and was starting to shake slightly. She had the decency to look ashamed about her small outburst. She should have known Quinn was facing some tough shit.

"Quinn, we should go home. I'll get the medicine for your hand on the way back, okay? Let's go, honey." Judy tried to speak to her daughter soothingly, not daring to touch her and make things worse. "Sweetie, come on. Let's get to the car. Or at least let's go out for some air, yeah?"

* * *

Judy kept speaking in a soft voice to her daughter till Quinn looked like she could actually understand what she was saying. It was practically a miracle when the soldier calmed down. Every time Quinn had threatened to go on a panic attack, it had happened no matter what the older blonde did.

The first time it had happened, had been the same night she had tried to visit Rachel. The blonde got to breathing so heavily and shaking that she passed out. The second time was the next day when she heard Rachel's voice on the speakerphone with her mother. And then another time that same day when the brunette had tried to visit.

After that, Judy had just asked Rachel to stay away for a while. At least till she felt the blonde could handle it.

But this time, this time Quinn got herself together. At least slightly so she could walk out of the hospital for herself. Which she did, leaving her mother and her former friend behind.

"You can't confront her, Santana. Not yet. I know it was awful what she did to Brittany but please… try to understand. That's all she knows nowadays. Pain."

Santana nodded at her friend's mom, sighing a bit. "I know. I'm sorry… For a moment there, I forgot. I… I won't do it again."

"Just remember that she's not herself yet. She's just… she's just a very troubled woman that looks like Quinn. And that sometimes talks like her as well. But it's going to take a while. If… If you wish to visit, give me a call. But you have to behave." The older woman said before squeezing the woman's arm, moving away to follow her daughter.

"She should see someone… I… I know a good doctor for her."

"Yes. I'm aware of that. But it was a miracle I got her out of the house today… It'll take a while before she feels like doing it herself." Santana nodded at the answer she got before letting Judy leave.

* * *

It was another two days – a whole week till Quinn had come back – for another incident to happen. This time, it was triggered by a loud noise coming from outside the house. The very next day, she passed out again. This time because she saw one of her captors being showed on a TV news report. That one glance at the man made Quinn had nightmares for a week straight.

Puck was the only one allowed inside the house – aside from Judy, of course. And she loved when he came. The man brought simple things that kept Quinn's mind occupied. Two whole weeks after she had been home, though, he brought her one gift that Judy would have a hard time accepting: a dog.

It was a Border collie named Pongo – like the character in 101 Dalmatians. Noah adopted him from a place downtown and rushed to Quinn's house. The blonde smiled big for the first time since getting home when she saw the dog. They fell in love with each other with just one look. To strays, beaten and bruised by the world around them, finding some comfort in each other.

The same day she got the dog, Quinn decided to take him for a walk. Judy let the dog stay just because he managed to get her out of the house. Puck went along with the duo, walking them to the park.

"So… How have you be-"

"Please, don't." Quinn said to the man. "Don't ask that. I don't want to lie to you nor do I want to talk about it. So let me just enjoy this little pup here."

"Alright… Well, I won't ask that." Puck laughed awkwardly and looked as the dog ran around happily, sitting with Quinn on a bench. "Can I ask you about her, though?"

"I haven't spoken to her yet." Quinn replied quietly.

"Yeah. She told me. After yelling at me for not telling her you were back and safe. But I'm curious to why you haven't. I thought she was the one person you'd actually want to talk to."

"She is… She is all I think about, still. But… But I'm not what she's thinking about anymore. She's thinking of Finn. And whatever else is happening to her. I don't know her anymore."

"Fuck Finn." Puck said and Quinn chuckled. "No, seriously, fuck him, Q. Fuck that awful bastard. He's a coward that left you out there. Came running back. Took your place, your life… your award. You know he's seen as a hero now?"

"Well, he was smart enough to get to come back so let's give him some credit."

"He's a coward. You know, I tried telling Rachel that… I know what he did. Jones told me before she went back to Iraq for a second tour. I tried to tell Rachel, and Santana, and Brittany. Even fucking Kurt and Blaine. But no one listened… He played the hero card well."

"Why are you telling me this? Do you really want me to get riled up again?"

"If it means you'll go after your woman, Quinn, then yes. You need her. And she needs you too. She's not happy like she was when she was with you… Why don't you try talking to her? At least give her that. I know she gave up on you and all that but…"

"It's not about that. I really don't blame her for moving on, Puckerman. I was gone for eight years. Anyone else would have done the same. What hurts more it's that I was too late. And now she loves another. Besides… You and I both know I'm far from being the woman she once fell in love with."

Puck sighed in frustration and shook his head. "I don't buy it. You're still Quinn to me. You still talk to me like you used to. Granted, you're a bit more reserved – more than you were before, which was already a lot – but you still talk to me."

Quinn looked at her friend and smiled sadly. "You were the one that went after me when no one else did. I owe you my life. That's why."

She went silent again after that, even though Puck kept talking and trying to convince her to see Rachel. Quinn wasn't ready yet. Even though all she thought about was her ex-girlfriend, now her thoughts of her included that damned protective arm wrapped around her, holding Rachel to him when she was the one supposed to do that.

She lost Rachel to the guy that pushed her to the terrorists, running for his life after.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, everyone.**

 **Sorry for skipping last week. It was a hard week at work and I barely had time for anything.**

 **I realize this is not the best chapter, or the longest, for this moment but I do hope you can enjoy it just a little bit. I tried my best. And I also didn't want to leave you all without another update. The next one will be better. I promise**

 **Oh! And about that... disagreement some of the readers had on the reviews, I want to say that yes, I realize that being a woman in captivity for so long and not be raped is something very unlikely to happen - though I'm sure there are some cases. And to clarify, I still don't know if I'm gonna make it be a part of Quinn story. But if I do go on that direction, it won't be something overly described or talked about, really. I just don't think I can do justice to a storyline like that. But yes, probably will be something mentioned. But like I said, I'm not sure. Maybe I can figure something out that it won't involve that in her captivity.**

 **Anyway, I own nothing. Please leave a review and tell me your thoughts.**

Pongo was a blessing disguised as a mess machine, Judy realized. Even though Quinn seemed much happier with the dog around, smiling more, that damned creature – as she liked to call it – had already destroyed three pairs of shoes in the past week. But having Quinn laugh at his silly demeanor made it worth it. She was even leaving the house more often to take him on his walks around the park.

In one of those walks, though, Judy had learned that her daughter had run into Rachel. She had come rushing back home and locked herself in the room. The older woman had no idea what had happened between them. She had just learned from Noah, when he came into the house a day later, that the blonde had seen her ex without a warning ahead.

Quinn hadn't gone out the day after that one. And after that she had started going to another park so she wouldn't run into Rachel again.

The brunette had tried visiting after that but thankfully it was always when Judy was home so she managed to send the woman away. But, as every other Sunday morning, Judy went to church. And Rachel took that opportunity to visit the Fabray household.

It was around ten a.m. when she arrived, knocking on the door a few times and trying not to let the nerves get the best of her. It had been two weeks since she discovered that Quinn was alive, that the blonde had come to her house before leaving so quickly she barely had time to assimilate. Rachel had missed that woman so much for the past eight years. She had spent the first six waiting for her – till one day she had just stopped. And now she didn't know what to think. Most of their friends didn't judge her for moving on – actually, only Puck had something to say about it. He was convinced Quinn was alive and that Finn, for some damned reason, was responsible for her staying back.

She hadn't believed Puck then and she still didn't. Finn was a nice man that respected her and treated her nicely. But something was missing. Quinn was missing. He would never mean to her what the blonde meant. And now she had no clue how to react. What was she supposed to do?

Rachel didn't have time to dwell much on it because Quinn opened the door with an adorable sleepy face. She had to resist the urge to caress the girl's cheek. It was with that thought that Rachel actually realized Quinn was standing in front of her. And she looked completely terrified. Her eyes had gone from tired to alert in a second. Her posture had become rigid and she was holding the door with all her strength – Rachel noticed how her knuckles were turning white.

"W… What are you doing here?" Much to Rachel's surprise, Quinn was the first one to speak. Her voice was soft and a bit broken – nothing like the one that belonged to the woman she once loved so damn much.

"I… I came to talk to you. Judy seems to think that it's a bad idea but I don't. You can have her send me away as many times as necessary, I will never stop coming here." Rachel said, standing her ground. "Now… Can I please come in? I'd like to be able to look at you properly… I've missed you, Quinn. So fucking much. You have no idea."

Rachel held her breath till the blonde opened the door so she could come in. Truthfully, she thought Quinn would just slam it in her face.

They walked silently to the living room, where a dog was chewing on a pillow.

"Pongo, no. My mom is going to kill you." Rachel watched as Quinn rushed to the puppy and took the pillow from his mouth, picking him up and kissing his head. He looked like her, in a way. She could swear the dog smiled when the woman started scratching his head and sat down with him on her lap.

"New dog?"

"Yeah… Puck got it for me a week ago. His name is Pongo." Quinn explained in a soft voice, letting the puppy play with her hands as Rachel sat down across from them.

"He's cute." Rachel said simply, not knowing how or what to say next.

They got into a awkward silence, with the blonde playing with the dog and with Rachel staring at her with some longing. She had changed – which was obvious since it had been eight years. Her hair was even shorter and messier, sticking out all over the place. Rachel smiled thinking it looked like a lion's mane now. She also looked thinner. Like she had lost fifteen pounds or something. The bones in her body were showing more and her face was even more pale than it once was. Quinn looked like she had spend the past eight years suffering.

"How have you been settling back home?" She managed to ask after a while, sighing when the blonde just shrugged and let out a quiet 'fine'. "I… Good. That's good."

It was another two minutes of heavy silence hanging between them before she spoke again.

"And Judy? She must be happy you're home…"

"Yeah, I guess."

"I'm sure she is… Puck… Puck is happy too. I've met him a few times these past two weeks. He looks calmer. Almost as if a burden has left his shoulders. Which I guess it did… I mean, it's not every day your best friend gets captured by terrorists, huh?" She realized as soon as she said that it was the wrong way to break the ice. Quinn put Pongo down and sat up rigidly. "I mean…. I… That was wrong of m-"

"I would rather not talk about it." There was a bit more spike in her tone now and Rachel didn't know if she should be happy about it or not. "I won't talk about it. Not now."

"I understand, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… I'm sorry. Let me start over, yeah? We don't have to talk about that."

"Then what, exactly do you want to talk about Rachel? It's not like I watched great new movies or listened to awesome new songs. All I have to talk about in my life now is Pongo. And that was covered already so… what exactly do you want to talk about?"

Rachel winced at the anger in her voice. Maybe it was a bad idea to just show up like that without giving Quinn the needed space Judy said she craved for.

"Well? You have anything to say to me? Because I'm really not in the mood for some small talk. Or heavy talk. Or any kind of talk at all. So why don't you just say what you have to say?"

"I… I don't know, really. Ever since you came to my house I've been trying to figure out what to say to you… what to ask, what to tell… and so far I came up with… nothing. Well, that's a lie. I do know I needed to say that I missed you. That I missed you so much all these years. There wasn't a day that went by without me thinking of you. I miss you. And that's why I came here. I miss you."

"Not that much, it seems."

"What?"

"What?"

"What do you mean by that? Is this about Finn? Quinn, I'm sorry, okay? You can't blame me for that. I thought you were dead."

"Yeah, well… I'm not. But I'm also not the same person I once was so… Would you please just leave? And forget about whatever it is that you have to say to me because it doesn't matter. I'm not that naïve girl anymore. I'm not. I'm not your Lucy Quinn any longer. So just save me the heartache of having to be your friend when you're with someone else and leave."

Rachel was on her feet after that, a few tears welling up in her eyes. But even so she could see that Quinn was a bit startled with herself at the outburst. The blonde looked like she wanted to apologize but instead she hugged herself, her knees pulled to her chest.

It was a heartbreaking sight, really. The blonde looked lost and scared. And Rachel couldn't stop herself from hugging her close. Quinn didn't put up a fight, instead she leaned into Rachel's shoulder and started crying quietly. She found that strange since Puck had told her not to touch her at any moment when she told him her plan of showing up at their house.

"I waited for you for six years. Six years of hanging on to something everyone was telling me it didn't exist anymore. But I did. I waited. And I waited and I waited. My only mistake was that I didn't wait long enough. I'm sorry for that. If I knew you were alive and that you'd come back to me, I'd have gone a million years waiting." The words were whispered in Quinn's ear in a gentle way, with Rachel caressing her hair. She waited a few minutes till the blonde looked like she was calming down before pressing a kiss to her hair. "I'll always love you. No matter what you look, feel, smell or act like. You'll always be my Lucy Quinn… But you're right. You're not yourself just yet and I… I am not in the right being here. I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm sorry. I'll leave, yeah?"

When no words came from Quinn, she took that as her cue to leave. Pulling away, Rachel took her purse from the couch and walked out of the house, looking at the blonde. She only closed the door behind her because Quinn didn't look back for a second.

* * *

That afternoon, Rachel got a very angry call from Judy. Apparently, the older woman had found her daughter curled up into a ball on the couch, crying quietly by herself. That did nothing to make the brunette feel better. She knew now that what she did was a bad idea. Especially when Judy explained about the hardship she was facing with Quinn. Apparently the blonde ate very little in the days she remembered something. And that sleep was something rare for the woman.

Only then that it occurred to Rachel that Quinn was trying to recover from a major trauma in her life.

She asked about therapy and about what she could do to help, demanding regular calls from Judy to learn more about Quinn. The older blonde only agreed to that when Rachel had promised no to search for Quinn again, letting her come to her.

* * *

Puck was another victim of Judy's angry call. Apparently the woman had put two and two together since the man would show up when she was not around to help out in case had a new attack.

He apologized and promised not to bring another puppy to make Quinn feel better. Pongo was enough to destroy her house.

The man was sorry his attempt to make Quinn feel a bit like herself had backfired. He really believed that if the blonde saw and spoke to Rachel, she would get a bit out of her shell. Apparently he was an idiot, though, like Judy had pointed out.

With dinner in hands, Puck rang the doorbell. It was a good way to start his apology, and Judy realized that, but unfortunately for him, Quinn was now locked up in her room, not to be heard till the next day when she came out looking for a bit of food.


	4. Author's Note

Hello, everyone.

No. This isn't an update. And I truly apologize for that. But I've been getting a few PMs for the past few months and I now finally feel well enough to write to you.

A while back I was in an accident and, even though I'm much better, I have a bit of trouble with my back at times. And back in December, I sort of twisted it in a way that made it really hard for me to stand, sit, walk. Basically do any normal thing. That's why it was so hard for me to sit and update my stories. I can't apologize enough for making you wait this long.

After doing some physical therapy for the past few months, I'm finally well enough to go back to writing so I should be updating both my stories in the next couple of weeks. Please be patient and stay with me. I won't disappoint (much).

Thanks for understanding!

See you all soon.


End file.
